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by John Roberts The Constitution of the United States fits on six printed pages. After the 1,990 page health care bill last year, Congress decided that bills were getting too long and too complex. Subsequently, a bill was passed limiting the number of pages that would be allowed in any single bill, known as the ‘Bill-Ceiling Bill’. “It makes perfect sense [...]
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by John Roberts In response to the attempted bombing of a Christmas gathering in Oregon, Homeland Security has decided to take security measures to the next level. After successfully quelling any Christian retribution in Oregon through increased security measures, Janet Napolitano has decided that her department must create a new agency to protect Muslims nationwide. This agency will be [...]
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by John Roberts The most anticipated stimulus, probably ever, was implemented this week, and the ripple effect has already been felt throughout the economy. Although much of what has resulted is somewhat unexpected. Federal Reserve chairman explains his decision-making process behind the million dollar stimulus. “When we decided to dump more money into the economy, we were so sick and [...]
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By John Roberts Fresh off of a win over toys in McDonald’s Happy Meals, the San Francisco legislature has a new enemy in its sights, fortune cookies. Legislator Pam Cushman explains their stance. “Intelligent individuals understand that the so-called “fortune” received in a fortune cookie does not always come true. Most people in our city don’t realize [...]
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By John Roberts Scientists at Harvard and UCSD have found a gene that contributes to liberal tendencies. Professor Raymond at Harvard University suggested “We’re not sure yet what the implications of our research are, but we know that the first step to finding a cure is finding the cause.” There have been mixed feelings about [...]
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By John Roberts Government officials are finally getting serious about cutting budgets. While McDonald’s has come under fire over the years for serving unhealthy food, one thing has become clear, it’s not killing anyone….at least, not immediately. It’s reward? Complete regulatory control over the nations food. Senators have debated the efficacy of the regulatory process [...]
by John Roberts This week’s results episode of American Idol was a 2 hour special including a fund raiser for “Idol Gives Back”, featuring many organizations helping less fortunate individuals all around the world. It was a successful night, raising nearly $45 million. The thing that stood out most to me was the fact that [...]
by John Roberts US Energy Secretary, Steven Chu, recently proposed that all black streets and roof tops be painted white as a measure to help curb global warming. The theory behind this proposal is that lighter colors would reflect the suns rays back into space, rather than trap them in the earth and increase global [...]
by John Roberts In light of recent events involving death threats from Republicans, Christian teabaggers, and conservatives, we wanted to make our readers aware of the dangers that are around us today, and arm you with information to prevent yourself from entering a dangerous situation. Nancy Pelosi has witnessed this violence first hand. It almost [...]
by John Roberts Politicians in Washington have been engaging in what they term, “Creative Spending”, to give a boost to another sagging industry, TV advertising. Instead of simply giving funds to television networks, they are buying advertising for this year’s census, and not just a little. “The government has bought up nearly all of our [...]
